What’s Worth It?

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”

My Weight Watchers leader once handed out pencils with this phrase carved into them. It wasn’t the first time that I’d heard it; this is a phrase that is passed around the weight loss community pretty regularly.

I hate that phrase. With a passion.

I think it is pure and utter bologna.

Moreover, I think that thoughts like that one are the kind that encourage the misery that is an eating disorder. In fact, that’s where I first read that phrase: on a pro-anorexia message board.

That phrase came to mind tonight because I’ve eaten quite a lot in the past three days. I found myself worrying a bit tonight about that. Will what I’ve eaten in the past 3 days ruin my weight loss? Have I messed up? Have I fallen off the wagon? Did I do something wrong? Should my desire to lose weight have come first?

Ultimately, I think not. I think that sometimes, it’s worth it to eat too much, overdo it, and even see a gain on the scale. I have not undone 2 years of work in 1 weekend — not on the scale nor in my mentality. If anything, I feel more stable now than I would if I’d deprived myself. This weekend, I did not feel like the dieter in the crowd. I did not bring my own food, avoid my favorite things, or put the importance of the meal above the experience of being 100% present with family.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? How the heck did food and weight become so important? Here are some things that, in my opinion, taste at least twice as good as skinny could ever feel:

1. My boyfriend’s 29th birthday cake. (Or my brother’s 13th, my grandfather’s 80th, and my 25th)

2. A romantic Valentine’s dinner date secretly plotted and put into action.

3. The candy in my stocking each Christmas.

4. The hour-long lunch with coworkers to celebrate finishing a huge project.

5. The pecan pie, fried chicken, shrimp, potatoes, cake, etc. etc. etc. on the Christmas dinner table each Christmas Eve when the whole family gathers.

6. Thanksgiving. All of it.

7. Toasted pumpkin seeds from our Halloween jack o’lanterns.

8. My great-grandma’s mac and cheese recipe at Sunday supper.

9. Santa’s cookies and milk.

10. S’mores, toasted marshmallows, hot dogs, and ANYthing you can cook over a camp fire.

Sometimes, I think, we just need to live life and not let food  be in control.

Isn’t the whole point of starting a weight loss journey to learn how to let food just be food?

The idea that skinny should come first breaks my heart. Shouldn’t our relationships, loved ones, and selves come first?

Tomorrow, regular everyday life returns. But, this weekend, we celebrated something special, and I don’t think skinny could ever take the place of the togetherness we all felt as we shared these events together.

Happy 13th Birthday to my youngest brother! The time has flown by…

(Picture is 3 years old, but it’s all I have for now) 🙂

EDIT: Ahhh…here we go 🙂

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2 thoughts on “What’s Worth It?

  1. SO right on.My dad one evening told my mom he would really like to have a piece of the left over blueberry cheese cake.She really was not wanting him to have any because he had high cholesteral…but he indulged and enjoyed one ofr two pieces. By 10 pm my dad had died on the operating table…My mom looked back and it made her so happy he got to enjoy one last dessert.

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